Three Hours

During one morning of our retreat, we had the opportunity to just spend time with God for 3 hours. I’ve gotten to do this twice before at training so I was really excited when I found out that’s what we’d be doing. And it was so good to just pour my heart out to Him. We talked about a lot of things…most of which had already been discussed…but He was faithful to show me some new things that I hadn’t paid attention to before.

I told Him that I’d never been more uncomfortable in my life because it’s in almost every aspect: physical, mental, and emotional. But spiritually I’ve never felt stronger. I told Him that I felt like I was turning a corner with the whole “culture shock” thing, but that I still struggled almost every single day. As I told Him about each of my struggles, He answered me with a question: When have you EVER clung to me this tightly? And then I told Him that if struggling every single day was the only way He could get me to cling to Him this tightly every single day then that was okay. Then I asked Him to help me mean what I said.

As hard as this past few weeks has been, I wouldn’t trade any of it for the closeness to God I’ve experienced. I am desperate for His Word, desperate for prayer…desperate for Him. He has given me great comfort and peace in knowing that He called me here. And He doesn’t do things for no reason, which means He is at work here and all I have to do is be with Him and obey, joining Him in that work. God is so good.